I haven't cried in a few days. The only time I've gotten teary is when a friend questioned me yesterday about what's wrong. But other than that, I've been OK. I still feel sad, but I also know that I can't expect things to change overnight.
Yesterday I was super anxious about swim lessons but not upset, if that makes sense. This morning, I was super tired so my workout wasn't as great as it could've been, but I was trying to focus on form and stuff, which tells me I'm interested in improving again.
When I said it doesn't matter if I get better... I was just trying to fool myself. It does matter to me. I like getting better. I like being able to do things I've never been able to do.
So I guess I am getting my spark back.
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