There is absolutely no reason I need to be investing so much energy into being upset with my performance in CrossFit. I've shed way too many tears for what is really just a workout.
I'm not competing in any contests or competitions. I joined because I wanted to change things up and get a good workout. As long as I'm doing that, it really shouldn't matter how quickly I'm progressing, or if I'm progressing at all.
If I have a shitty night of sleep, it's okay to skip a day. I don't HAVE to go every single day. It's not worth it to do a workout that's just going to bring me down because I can't do it that well.
I need to devote less time and energy into CrossFit (rather, worrying about it) and more into my family and what will come next for us. Am I going to quit? No. At least not right now. I don't know what the future holds. (Interestingly, for someone who doesn't want to listen to anything about it, my husband also doesn't want me to quit. Go figure.) But I need to regroup and realize that it really is only a workout and nothing more. I don't have to work on things at home... I can leave it at the box and be done with it by 7am each day.
Having said that, I'm going to totally kill my diet today since the scale is moving up again anyway. I do not condone emotional eating. But I love to bake and it makes me feel better, so I'm going to bake. And if I want to eat it, I will. (Duh, of course I'll eat it!)
Maybe in a couple of weeks I'll have an attitude change back to how I was... I have an appointment on Tuesday with my doctor to review my medications and hopefully adjust them somehow, whether it's upping my current dosages or changing. We'll see what that does for my spirits!!
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My inner badass is SCREAMING at me right now for being so fucking whiny and talking about giving up!!
