Surviving 7 Minutes of Burpees

Before I get beyond the point of thinking positive thoughts I'm going to get this out. Dinner is going to have to wait for a bit longer!

So. Burpees. Holy hell, that sucked!! BUT! My goal was 50. My coach's goal for me was 55. I got 60. Now, I know that hearing positive talk from me about myself scares some, but hold on tight because it might be a bumpy ride!

When I workout, sometimes I close my eyes. I don't know why, but it gets me through it without being distracted by what's going on around me. Especially when it's fast movements... Burpees alone can make you want to puke.. no need adding blurred images to the equation!

I had a friend from my morning CrossFit class who didn't want to do the Open. I'm not really sure why because she's pretty awesome. But she came today, just to cheer me on. How friggin awesome is that?? (I felt really bad though b/c I chose the last heat to be in and made her stay so long.) And while I was doing my 7 minutes of hell, all I could hear was people cheering me on and shouting my name. Like, seriously. I didn't recognize some of the voices, but there they were yelling at me to get my ass up off the floor (in a positive way)!

A lot of times I have problems being cheered on. Especially when I'm the last one or when I'm the worst one. It makes me feel like the "special kid" to be honest. But today.. I don't know. It was just different for me and how I took it, I guess. 

Out of everyone there, I had the fewest number of burpees (by 12+. But there is not one thing that I would change about how things went. I can definitely say I did my best and... omg... I'm proud of how I did. (Did I really put that in writing?!) 

There were so few people from CFMK who came out to do the Open and I'm really surprised. Hell, they were surprised to know that I was going to do it. I thought for sure that alone would get people to come! Ha! But that's their deal. For me, it was something I had to do (and will continue having to do for the next few weeks). It's not about anyone else but me and my own personal demons. But I tell you what... Having so many people cheering me on... Just wow. (I even got a bit teary afterward when I thought about it!) That feeling of support is something that I wish everyone could feel because it's awesome. 

To make it even better, I had other CrossFit friends from around the country cheering for me as well. All know my past. All could totally kick my ass in WODs. But they all have that CF attitude that's just amazing. Bust your ass and they think you're great... doesn't matter what your score is. (That's all Crossfitters.) 

Words from yet another friend just before I left stuck with me as well and helped much more than I'm sure she realizes.  I am so proud of you. Not for your results, but for continuing to push yourself in an area where you don't always feel confident. I think it's awesome that you are allowing yourself to not be "perfect." 

This will sound silly, but I love that I made my CF coach proud. She's so awesome and I feel has invested  way more time and attention in me than maybe she should've. I'm so glad to have her. She's a super amazing athlete (she did 135 burpees!!!) yet she doesn't bat an eye at those of us who aren't as good. She cheers us on and encourages us to do better. And when we do, she thinks we're awesome. And when we don't, she keeps cheering us on. 

(Don't let her tiny cuteness fool you. She's a beast!)

Know what else feels awesome? STOPPING after 7 minutes of burpees. Let me tell you... just plain awesome. Of course, struggling to breath kinda sucked, but at least it was over!

A Bullet With Your Name On It

I have so many thoughts going through my head today and have no idea where to begin. Or even if they're worthy of writing about. Or maybe they're worthy of posts all their own. But if I do that, I'll never get the thoughts out of my head. So here ya go... A few things on my mind lately.

• I think about who reads this blog and I try not to say anything that I may be embarrassed for them to read or for someone to tell them. Or that might hurt their feelings or make them mad. But you know, whatever. It's MY blog. They are MY thoughts. And I'll write what I want to write. And then avoid people later! (Except for hurting feelings... If I think it may hurt someone, I won't write it.) 

• My daughter. She's a beautiful creature who drives me absolutely bat shit crazy! I love her dearly and cannot imagine my life without her. I want to grab her and hug her and make her life perfect in every way. Not only is she pretty, but she's a smart little cookie, too! I know I sound like a bragging mom (and maybe I am), but she really is smart.
     The problem? The older she gets, the more we realize how much smarter she is than we thought. She resists praise when she's done something well (by using her brain). You can tell her how cute she is all you want, but for example, if she does some quick math in her head and you praise her... forget it. She runs off and that's the end of that. She's only 4. She's waaaaay too young for this to happen and I don't know how to handle it. It makes me so sad. 

• Today is the day that CFMK hosts locals to do the first CrossFit Games WOD. I'm doing it (scaled and only locally) and hoping and praying that I'm not going to make a complete ass out of myself. The first WOD is 7 minutes of burpees. My super fucking awesome CF coach did 135 of them. ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE BURPEES IN SEVEN MINUTES! (Yes, that deserves to be shouted. It's fucking awesome.)
      I'm trying to get over my fear of making an ass of myself in front of other people. I'm doing this for ME, not to prove anything to anyone else. Yet, I'm so scared to do it because I know that the people who will be there will be super awesome, way more fit than I am, and able to do way more than I can. But again, this is something I'm doing for myself, not for anyone else.
     People at CF who I tell I'm doing it are surprised. Which, let's face it, I don't know if that's their issue because they're intimidated (by the WODs, not me), or they think I can't do it well. I know I'm usually the last one to finish WODs, so I have no doubt it's at least partly the latter. I was talking with someone I workout with the other day about it and we were discussing how many we think we can do. I said I was shooting for 45-50. The reaction? Big eyes and a scoff and a comment about how that might not be realistic. But I insisted that I wanted to aim for that, so the prediction my friend made was that I could get between 35-50,  only saying 50 because I insisted. If you have learned anything about me, you know that pissed me off. Fuck that, man!! Thirty five?? REALLY?
     So. I went home and gave it a shot. I'd been awake since 3:45am (thanks, kids!) and had already had a full day by the time I attempted it at 2pm. (I should add.. A friend in NY did a dry run for it and she and I were discussing it via Facebook. She got 56 and was curious what I would do.) I blasted some Pitbull, which was pretty much my only motivation seeing as how I was planning for a nap that afternoon, not burpee hell. I didn't get my 50. I got 48 burpees in 7 minutes. Not terribly bad considering the conditions. Not as awesome as some people. But whatever. It's awesome for me.
     (I have to throw in another little shout out for my CF coach here... when I told her my goal, she didn't act like I was a loser for only getting 48. Her response? "You will get 50 tomorrow. Fuck that. You will get 55."  Oh, how I love her. One day I will write a whole post about how amazing she is. And so you don't think I've fallen in love with her [it's only a slight girl crush] I'll talk about all of the amazing women I've come across since I started working out.)    Here's to hoping I don't disappoint her or myself!!
  
  
  
• This whole weightlifting thing has been weighing on my mind (no pun intended). At some point, I'm going to have to make a decision about doing it or doing CrossFit. I'm so completely in love with CrossFit and cannot imagine leaving. But I also see how lifting heavy shit could be good for me (mentally). Obviously I just started, so there's no need to make a decision yet. But man am I dreading that day.
     Just the fact that I won't be able to do CF on the days I lift has already made me feel like I'm cheating on CFMK. (I know, I know... I have issues.) I'm an extremely loyal person. And I hate this. I don't want to choose!!
  
  
  
• My eating has gone to shit.
  
  
  
• Several people have asked me if I would like comments on my blog. PLEASE, if you have something (nice) to say, feel free to say it!! While I do this blog for myself, feedback is welcomed!