Today I had a total "fat girl" day while working on learning the very beginning, very basic steps to muscle ups. Hold onto the rings and pull yourself up. Pretty basic, right? My upper body didn't think so. I'm sure I looked like I wasn't trying. (In all honesty, at first I really wasn't. I knew it would be hard, so I didn't bother. But then I gave it a go.)
It goes back to that whole being strong/weak thing. This basic move shouldn't have been so hard. Part of it was my mind. Part of it was I didn't want to look stupid. And part of it was that it really was hard for me.
When I have days like today, I usually allow myself the car ride home for a little pity party. By the time I get home, I'm usually pissed off and am ready to try again. Will I ever be able to do a real muscle up? I cannot say, "Hell yeah I will!" Have you ever seen those things?!? Or tried them?!? I do know that I will bust my ass doing the things that it takes to build my strength up though.
I'm slowly beginning to think of myself as a fighter. If I don't like something, I do my best to change it. If I suck at something, I try harder. I do like to think of myself as a (mostly) nice person, but there's more to me than that. I don't have to be nice all of the time. I don't have to be quiet and sweet. I'm NOT "sugar and spice and everything nice" like my grandmother drilled into my head. (Well, I might take the spice.) Nice isn't going to get me anywhere at the gym. And worrying about not looking stupid and/or failing isn't either.
