Last Friday I had shoulder surgery. I've been wanting to blog about it but have been rather out of it. I wanted to blog about it BEFORE but was way stressed out about it.
And now I'm going to write only this in hopes of being harassed for details (in order to MAKE me blog about it) by people who are just finding out. Sorry!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Friday, December 7, 2012
Back Down This Road Again
Well, I've finally gained enough weight back that I'm feeling like I'm back to square one. I'm NOT, but I feel like it. So I decided to do something about it.
I met with my CF coach yesterday to do a body analysis and go over nutrition. I realized that I don't really know how to eat properly for the kind of working out that I do. Yes, I understand a balanced diet, but for weightlifting it's a bit different. Mainly, I need more protien... and to cut the junk I've been munching on lately.
So I have my calorie, protien, carb and fat intakes laid out for me. I'm using FitDay.com to keep track of what I eat. And I get my first cheat day on Dec 27. AFTER CHRISTMAS! ACK!!
I've also decided to go back to CF two days a week, in addition to the Olympic weightlifting. I've been biking lately and I enjoy it.. so I don't think I'll stop that. But I haven't been doing enough of it. And the Rec Center... forget it. I haven't been going.
My shoulder is still messed up, so that's keeping me from swimming for now. Hopefully I can start that up once I have a bit more strength in my shoulder. For now, I'm doing light exercises and not pushing myself AT ALL because if by the beginning of January I'm still in pain--SURGERY.
I'm going to take "before" pictures and post them in the next few days. (How embarassing.)
I've come to accept that the number on the scale can be whatever it is... The muscle weight is fine. I just want the fat gone. And there's more than I'd like to admit at this point. :(
I met with my CF coach yesterday to do a body analysis and go over nutrition. I realized that I don't really know how to eat properly for the kind of working out that I do. Yes, I understand a balanced diet, but for weightlifting it's a bit different. Mainly, I need more protien... and to cut the junk I've been munching on lately.
So I have my calorie, protien, carb and fat intakes laid out for me. I'm using FitDay.com to keep track of what I eat. And I get my first cheat day on Dec 27. AFTER CHRISTMAS! ACK!!
I've also decided to go back to CF two days a week, in addition to the Olympic weightlifting. I've been biking lately and I enjoy it.. so I don't think I'll stop that. But I haven't been doing enough of it. And the Rec Center... forget it. I haven't been going.
My shoulder is still messed up, so that's keeping me from swimming for now. Hopefully I can start that up once I have a bit more strength in my shoulder. For now, I'm doing light exercises and not pushing myself AT ALL because if by the beginning of January I'm still in pain--SURGERY.
I'm going to take "before" pictures and post them in the next few days. (How embarassing.)
I've come to accept that the number on the scale can be whatever it is... The muscle weight is fine. I just want the fat gone. And there's more than I'd like to admit at this point. :(
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Losing My Addiction
I haven't written in so long. Probably all of the people who I was worried about seeing this blog have completely forgotten that I have it. Hopefully anyway.
So. I've lost my addiction to working out. I don't like that. I feel myself slipping away, ever so slowly. Not just slipping away from working out, but from being healthy in general. I don't want to be fat again, though you could probably argue that I am already.
I'm so sad. I don't know what to so about it. I feel the fire periodically, but it's usually on days that I've already worked out (I just want to workout again), or on days when I cannot workout for whatever reason.
School has started back for the husband and kids and I find myself overloaded with things to do for everyone. I'm volunteering in one classroom, plus PTO stuff. I have 3 appointments a week -- two for my (still) injured shoulder and one for the shrink. Neither can be dropped. Not that those take much time, but when factoring in other things, it just adds up.
My workout schedule isn't set like it used to be anymore. The husband took over mornings and now I'm finding that I have to fit it into my regular day... and I'm just not. If I'm being 100% honest, I'm only working about 4 days a week and that's just weightlifting. For awhile, I was biking, but I've stopped that for some reason.
My depression isn't so hot lately either. I don't want to do anything, despite having so much to do. Then I wonder if it's b/c I have so much to do that my depression is worse.
So. I've lost my addiction to working out. I don't like that. I feel myself slipping away, ever so slowly. Not just slipping away from working out, but from being healthy in general. I don't want to be fat again, though you could probably argue that I am already.
I'm so sad. I don't know what to so about it. I feel the fire periodically, but it's usually on days that I've already worked out (I just want to workout again), or on days when I cannot workout for whatever reason.
School has started back for the husband and kids and I find myself overloaded with things to do for everyone. I'm volunteering in one classroom, plus PTO stuff. I have 3 appointments a week -- two for my (still) injured shoulder and one for the shrink. Neither can be dropped. Not that those take much time, but when factoring in other things, it just adds up.
My workout schedule isn't set like it used to be anymore. The husband took over mornings and now I'm finding that I have to fit it into my regular day... and I'm just not. If I'm being 100% honest, I'm only working about 4 days a week and that's just weightlifting. For awhile, I was biking, but I've stopped that for some reason.
My depression isn't so hot lately either. I don't want to do anything, despite having so much to do. Then I wonder if it's b/c I have so much to do that my depression is worse.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Surprising
I hate that I see myself as being extremely overweight.
I just saw a picture of myself from this past weekend (actually, I was in the background of a video). It's apparent that I could lose some weight.. and that I've got a lot of chub and skin going on in the stomach area. But I don't look like I'm unfit or obese. In fact, I was surprised at how fit I look. Not like superstar fit... but for me, not so shabby, despite my weight gain.
The last is horrible. Alas.. it's reality.
I just saw a picture of myself from this past weekend (actually, I was in the background of a video). It's apparent that I could lose some weight.. and that I've got a lot of chub and skin going on in the stomach area. But I don't look like I'm unfit or obese. In fact, I was surprised at how fit I look. Not like superstar fit... but for me, not so shabby, despite my weight gain.
The last is horrible. Alas.. it's reality.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Too Close To Home
I realize that I've been writing less and less lately. It's not that I don't have anything on my mind or anything to say. In fact, I have a lot on my mind and a lot to sday. But I guess I feel that too many people in my day to day life know about this blog and it makes me uneasy.
It's one thing to write how you feel and know people are reading. It's quite another to write how you feel and look someone in the eyes the next day!!
It's one thing to write how you feel and know people are reading. It's quite another to write how you feel and look someone in the eyes the next day!!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Weightlifting Meet
Yesterday was the Olympic Weightlifting competition. I have been meaning to post more about it prior, but we're in the middle of moving and life is just kind of upside down right now. Goodness knows I've had plenty of whining to do about it though!!
In the last 2 weeks leading up to the meet, I wasn't feeling so great about it. My form has been off since I started back after my shoulder injury. (That is so sports-like sounding.) My confidence wasn't there and I was having nightmares about a drama meet I went to in high school and SUCKED at. It brought up lots of thoughts of the Old Me and the New Me and if there really is a New Me or not. There have been lots of changes in me over the last few years and it hasn't been just losing weight.
So anyway. I had been super anxious about the meet. I spent the last week working on technique and my coach felt good about it all. Admittedly, I felt better once getting that work done, but I was still scared. I have the best coach though.. he's so patient with me.
The meet was better than I expected. I did ok.. Not great, but ok. You get 3 tries at each lift. For the snatch, lift 1 was 30kg and I got it. Lift 2 was 33kg and I missed. Lift 3 was a repeat at 33kg and I hit it, which was a PR. In all honesty, it was the weights in kg that made me not even think about how much I was lifting. Turned out to be a good thing b/c I have had a mental block with a weight lately. For the clean & jerk, I got my first 2 lifts at 35kg and 39kg and failed my 3rd at 43kg (which was about 4lbs more than my PR before hurting my shoulder). Considering I spent a lot of time nursing my shoulder and not doing the lifts, I'm pleased with how I did. I even got a medal b/c I was the first (and only!) person in my age/weight class! Ha! Guess it pays to be old and chunky!
I really didn't think I'd do well with people watching me, but I was so intent on lifting the bar that it didn't phase me that much. My husband and kids missed the snatches, but it was cool to hear/see them when I did the c&js. Friends who came to cheer us on told me later that the kids were asking the hubby if I'm stronger than him now. Ha!
After the meet, I got home and fed and put the kids to bed while the hubby went out with a friend. It was fair... after all, he'd stepped up and taken care of them all day. But talk about a let down for a day as significant as that was for me. Friends went out, hubby went out and I went to bed. I did have pizza for dinner at least.
In the last 2 weeks leading up to the meet, I wasn't feeling so great about it. My form has been off since I started back after my shoulder injury. (That is so sports-like sounding.) My confidence wasn't there and I was having nightmares about a drama meet I went to in high school and SUCKED at. It brought up lots of thoughts of the Old Me and the New Me and if there really is a New Me or not. There have been lots of changes in me over the last few years and it hasn't been just losing weight.
So anyway. I had been super anxious about the meet. I spent the last week working on technique and my coach felt good about it all. Admittedly, I felt better once getting that work done, but I was still scared. I have the best coach though.. he's so patient with me.
The meet was better than I expected. I did ok.. Not great, but ok. You get 3 tries at each lift. For the snatch, lift 1 was 30kg and I got it. Lift 2 was 33kg and I missed. Lift 3 was a repeat at 33kg and I hit it, which was a PR. In all honesty, it was the weights in kg that made me not even think about how much I was lifting. Turned out to be a good thing b/c I have had a mental block with a weight lately. For the clean & jerk, I got my first 2 lifts at 35kg and 39kg and failed my 3rd at 43kg (which was about 4lbs more than my PR before hurting my shoulder). Considering I spent a lot of time nursing my shoulder and not doing the lifts, I'm pleased with how I did. I even got a medal b/c I was the first (and only!) person in my age/weight class! Ha! Guess it pays to be old and chunky!
I really didn't think I'd do well with people watching me, but I was so intent on lifting the bar that it didn't phase me that much. My husband and kids missed the snatches, but it was cool to hear/see them when I did the c&js. Friends who came to cheer us on told me later that the kids were asking the hubby if I'm stronger than him now. Ha!
After the meet, I got home and fed and put the kids to bed while the hubby went out with a friend. It was fair... after all, he'd stepped up and taken care of them all day. But talk about a let down for a day as significant as that was for me. Friends went out, hubby went out and I went to bed. I did have pizza for dinner at least.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
People Always Ask...
People always ask why I decided to lose weight. I can't ever give them an answer they like, so I've started saying it was b/c of the kids. It kind of was... But not the main reason. So today I found this, which explains exactly how it was:
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