Gotta love a phone call that begins:
"Did you get out of bed this morning? And workout? Did you take your meds?"
Texts proclaiming love are great, too.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
100 Points For Me
On days like today, I wonder how the hell I'm allowed to care for other human beings when I can barely take care of myself. Thank God I'm able to meet their basic needs on days like today. I get points for that, right??? Hell, last night I was actually able to pull my head up above the surface to make cool little bunny shaped eggs for them for dinner. And then brownies. Of course, when I began dipping double stuffed golden Oreos in the leftover brownie batter, that probably wasn't a good thing. And I wonder why I have a weight problem. PMS and depression are a TERRIBLE combination. TERRIBLE.
Time to get the kiddo ready for school... which starts in 20 minutes. I guess I should revise my earlier statement to say BARELY meet their basic needs.
Time to get the kiddo ready for school... which starts in 20 minutes. I guess I should revise my earlier statement to say BARELY meet their basic needs.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Struggling
I'm struggling to keep my head above the water today. I feel defeated by life. It's possible that I haven't taken my medicine properly lately, I just don't remember. I know today I took only one because I couldn't find the other bottle. I didn't take either yesterday. Not sure about the days before.
I want to curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep, but I can't. I shouldn't even be sitting down writing this, but I can't focus on what I'm supposed to be doing, so I thought it might help.
It's one of those days where I feel like I'm facing the world all alone.
I want to curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep, but I can't. I shouldn't even be sitting down writing this, but I can't focus on what I'm supposed to be doing, so I thought it might help.
It's one of those days where I feel like I'm facing the world all alone.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
One Breath At A Time
The problem with improving something you struggle with is that once you can do it ok, people expect you to keep improving. Sure, that's the goal most people have. But sometimes isn't it ok to just be able to do it a little?? Who cares how well you can swim!?!
Last night my swim coach decided that I'm not longer allowed to use any kind of floatation device even for warm up!! I've been using just the paddle/kickboard thing. But noooo.. not anymore.
Some people would be happy with that. But not me. Know why?? Because that makes me have to go to the next step: putting my head under water and swimming. I swear that I thought I was going to have a panic attack last night when I tried it while holding onto the kickboard! I think that once I was able to stay under for 3 seconds. As in, that was the LONGEST.
I'm pathetic. I know it. I can't help it. I'm terrified of not being able to breathe.
Last night my swim coach decided that I'm not longer allowed to use any kind of floatation device even for warm up!! I've been using just the paddle/kickboard thing. But noooo.. not anymore.
Some people would be happy with that. But not me. Know why?? Because that makes me have to go to the next step: putting my head under water and swimming. I swear that I thought I was going to have a panic attack last night when I tried it while holding onto the kickboard! I think that once I was able to stay under for 3 seconds. As in, that was the LONGEST.
I'm pathetic. I know it. I can't help it. I'm terrified of not being able to breathe.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Don't Worry, Be Happy
I'm a worrier. I can't help it, I worry. Having kids made it worse.
Yesterday, I took my son to a birthday party. He played and had fun, but when it came time to do the cake and everything, he sat (with kids he didn't know) and remained quiet the rest of the time. He's such a sweet and introverted child. It makes me hurt when I see that he wants to be part of something but just can't bring himself to take the step to do it.
His teacher swears up and down to me that socially he is fine. Yes, he's quiet, but he has friends and plays with other kids and all that jazz.
For the last few weeks, he's been testing for the gifted program here. (He tested into it in Texico, but has to be retested in Kansas. No biggie.) His math scores are great and they decided they want to put him into 2nd grade math (he's in 1st grade.. and the youngest at that). If it goes well, he'll go to 3rd grade math next year.
By doing this, he's going to be out of his regular classroom for 45min each morning. He'll miss his little math practice test they do each morning, as well as calendar time (which he says he hates) and 15min of language arts. His teacher is comfortable with him missing calendar time and part of language arts.
Obviously, I'm extremely proud of him. Extremely. Now, when he's in middle school and doing higher math than I've ever been able to do I might be annoyed! But right now, I think it's awesome!
Yesterday, I took my son to a birthday party. He played and had fun, but when it came time to do the cake and everything, he sat (with kids he didn't know) and remained quiet the rest of the time. He's such a sweet and introverted child. It makes me hurt when I see that he wants to be part of something but just can't bring himself to take the step to do it.
His teacher swears up and down to me that socially he is fine. Yes, he's quiet, but he has friends and plays with other kids and all that jazz.
For the last few weeks, he's been testing for the gifted program here. (He tested into it in Texico, but has to be retested in Kansas. No biggie.) His math scores are great and they decided they want to put him into 2nd grade math (he's in 1st grade.. and the youngest at that). If it goes well, he'll go to 3rd grade math next year.
By doing this, he's going to be out of his regular classroom for 45min each morning. He'll miss his little math practice test they do each morning, as well as calendar time (which he says he hates) and 15min of language arts. His teacher is comfortable with him missing calendar time and part of language arts.
Obviously, I'm extremely proud of him. Extremely. Now, when he's in middle school and doing higher math than I've ever been able to do I might be annoyed! But right now, I think it's awesome!
 |
| He loves me. |
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Box Jumps!
It's been a bit of an interesting week with box jumps this week. One Wednesday, Coach G had me do some as part of my warm up and it didn't go so well.
I finished my warm up with the 3 I had left, then later that day went back in for Open Gym and did 10 more, just to get up on it again. I got up once on Thurs or Friday (can't remember which) and wasn't able (mentally) to do more.
Today I went for the Team WOD and had my ass handed to me. It seemed like others did as well, but holy shit did I suck. It's been awhile since I had to have others pull some of my share. Definitely not good for the ego.
Afterward I stuck around to do a few box jumps. The fear of crashing makes it HARD to get back up. But I did. Twenty-five times. At least, 25 times at 20". Then I decided that I wanted to go for a PR. I flipped the box over to the 24", had a bit of a stare down with it, then jumped my ass up on top! I even gave out a cry of joy, which NEVER happens! (It was kind of a bummer b/c Coach M is out of town and I feel like she should've seen me be excited. But I made sure to text her!)
Twenty-four inches on the box was one of my CrossFit Resolutions for the year! I'd gotten 23.5" on plates earlier this month, but wasn't able to get up on the 24" for the box. Getting my ass kicked by the Team WOD pissed me off and got me up on that today though!!
And just for a little visual, here's what the leg is looking like today:
 |
| Post Crash |
I finished my warm up with the 3 I had left, then later that day went back in for Open Gym and did 10 more, just to get up on it again. I got up once on Thurs or Friday (can't remember which) and wasn't able (mentally) to do more.
Today I went for the Team WOD and had my ass handed to me. It seemed like others did as well, but holy shit did I suck. It's been awhile since I had to have others pull some of my share. Definitely not good for the ego.
Afterward I stuck around to do a few box jumps. The fear of crashing makes it HARD to get back up. But I did. Twenty-five times. At least, 25 times at 20". Then I decided that I wanted to go for a PR. I flipped the box over to the 24", had a bit of a stare down with it, then jumped my ass up on top! I even gave out a cry of joy, which NEVER happens! (It was kind of a bummer b/c Coach M is out of town and I feel like she should've seen me be excited. But I made sure to text her!)
Twenty-four inches on the box was one of my CrossFit Resolutions for the year! I'd gotten 23.5" on plates earlier this month, but wasn't able to get up on the 24" for the box. Getting my ass kicked by the Team WOD pissed me off and got me up on that today though!!
And just for a little visual, here's what the leg is looking like today:
 |
| Ew. |
Fun Times!!
It's interesting to see the searches people do that end up reaching your blog. Someone searched for CrossFit and childbirth and linked to here from there. Of course, I had to repeat that search. And sure enough... my blog was listed a page in. I don't think it's exactly what people are wanting to read though b/c I was saying how the torture of childbirth ends and CF's torture keeps going! Ha!
Anyway! At the older child's school, we did a Flash Mob as an April Fool's joke yesterday. It was awesome so I thought I'd share!!
Anyway! At the older child's school, we did a Flash Mob as an April Fool's joke yesterday. It was awesome so I thought I'd share!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)